Wednesday, August 25, 2021

Content Update / Site Overhaul

Before the Good Times, Comes Work.
Inspirobot will tell you like it is.

Oof.  I really let the fire rush to my head on that last post.  Let's forget all that for a while, and maybe we'll circle back in a while.  Maybe not.  

So many things have changed since the end of 2019, it's taken this long to really see the impact on how we do gaming in our area.  The very nature of the hobby has changed quite a bit for me personally since our activities have been limited.  Now that we've spent some time in the 'new normal', I think it's time to shift gears.  We've come to see how things have matured and how people have begun to interact.  Now, it will be easier to create engaging content instead of having 'false-starts'.  With the Beer Koof returning in force, it might be some time before we see larger scale organized gaming...

Anyways...seems a good a time as any to overhaul the site!

I've been thinking this over for a while and it's time to prune old articles, as well as update a few.  I've been fighting with the mobile display code for a while since I'm stubborn and used an older template style, but I think I finally have it licked.  You should have a much better time navigating the site on mobile, but this is just the beginning.  I have been building a better organization for everything than what I have now, with a much better presentation.

One important change will be my publication days.  Due to the way our schedule has developed over almost two years of Beer Koof, my original publication days of Sunday and Friday are no longer workable.  Starting now, publication for Iron Seer Wargames will be Wednesday and RAWRPG will be Saturday.  That should help me with gathering up time to maintain the site much better than my trickle of posts would show.

I also have content from old, defunct blogs that I keep finding myself referring to over time.  The answer here is obvious, so I'll begin to update and integrate content from those places as well where it's relevant.  There are a few gems out there I'm proud of and I'd like to see renewed for a new decade.  Yeah...I've been at this a while...

During this maintenance time, some parts of the site may become inaccessible for short periods...or may become replaced by a new section entirely.  Don't worry - it's being put back together in a nice package.  This will be a slow process for me, and I expect it to take me at least a week as I'm going to go through all the content piece by piece.  I'm considering a lot of actions here...from merging the subdomain to a 'soft' relaunch of the wargames section.  I'm not sure exactly what I'm going to do, but be advised there will be some changes to organization and display.

If you have any suggestions for changes you'd like or features that might be cool to integrate, let me know by dropping a comment here on the blog or on social media.  Give me your suggestions!

If you haven't already, take a moment and sign up for Disqus.  It's a fantastic comment system you can use across the blogosphere, most notably (and most importantly) right here on this site!  Just click 'comment' below and tell me why dark UI sucks, or why I'm going to hell for cursing last week...

Whatever.  You can follow me here on Disqus, and I'll follow you back.  Then we'll Disqus things as we follow each other around. 

Sunday, August 15, 2021

Games Workshop: A Catalog of Consumer Complaints, 2021

WARNING:  Apoplectic nerdrage-induced cursing bordering on terminal neckbeardia.  Do NOT proceed if you are vulnerable to malediction-by-proxy.  Proceed at your own risk.  Note:  Bellicose visitors may have their status upgraded to belligerent after reading. If you find this to be the case, please comment below with Disqus.  


Well, we're back here.  Some announcements and a strangled rant.

First, we're locking in at Warhammer 40,000 8th Edition for the forseeable future.  We'll use this ruleset as a basis to develop the Nemesis Nihilum campaigns.  You can still add units from new editions, and we're going to be bringing back some stuff from the older editions. 

In addition, Kill-Team is locked at KT18.  KT21 will not be recognized by the council.

More on how all this will be handled will be disclosed as we get closer to Nemesis Nihilum...


We really have to take a moment to talk about Games Workshop.  This recent bullshit by them is inexcusable and it's time for action. 

I tried to write a more eloquent article.  Every time I tried, I went off the deep end and got WAAY to detailed and wordy.  Turns out I have a lot to say about this, but writing all that out again isn't worth the "uh, nuh uhs" I'd get from monkey-brain mendicants.

This is draft three...and after this preamble I will limit myself to super short sentences.  Let's get some conceits regarding this malediction of society down before we begin.

  1. I feel personally aggrieved by Games Workshop's actions since 2012.  I do not care how you feel in the slightest, and defending GW is a one way ticket to the mendicant's aisle.
  2. To anyone thinking "it's just a game" -  you're a fucking half-wit.  Go to mendicant's aisle and contemplate this.
  3. If you have no idea why I'm angry, kindly pay attention to GW's actions.  
  4. I am not going to do a list of these grievances because it's super obvious to anyone that's not a complete and total moron - which is to say every single shill and newb defending GW.
  5. This has nothing to do with money, but GW really thinks highly of their unworked plastic.  Too much, methinks.
  6. This has to do entirely with the way NU-GW has reversed the policies of the company they co-opted.  So much potential wasted, so much goodwill squandered.
  7. I hold GW personally responsible for the gradual decline of the local groups, which used to be a gigantic pool for our part of the country.  We were the pride spot, and now a guy I know had to drive 350 miles out of state to get a tourney.
  8. I feel this is all disgusting and anyone supporting GW's current endeavors is either a shill, a rube or just a fucking asshole.  You can't change my mind because you have access to all the facts and honestly as a human being you should feel the same way I do.
  9. I don't give a shit about your parroted capitalist apologetics that COMPLETELY misunderstands intellectual property law.  Unlike most of the rubes I happen to actually know what I'm talking about here and I don't have to prove it to you.  Read a fucking book.
  10. GW thought it was a good idea to cancel Warhammer Fantasy.  WARHAMMER FUCKING FANTASY.
  11. Age of Sigmar is fucking stupid.  Float around in your stupid bubbles as you circle my turd drain.
  12. I'm starting to get worked up, so let's get on with it before I fucking wolf out and have to delete all this again.
  13. The only ethical thing to do is play Oldhammer, and immediately cease support for NU-GW.  
  14. Buy OOPs or secondhand only, but better yet get a brain and let's 3D Print the Future.  
  15. Warhammer Belongs to Us. 
Indictment:  How to Strain Your Customer Base Like A Fuckin' Hedge Fund Manager

Community?  Not any more, chums.  Sit in your corners looking at your phone and wait for GW to tell you how much you owe to either A) not play because Beer Koof or B) rearrange your warband / army because it's now illegal and you're stupid.

All this only makes sense if the basic business model is changing.

Fine.  I'm not with it anyway.  Damn mainstreamers are making 40k hopeful again with their idiot primaris retcon and tech-up.  They're like all the other sci-fi supersoldiers now, which is what the mendicants wanted.  Nice flavor.  Much unique (?)

Make no mistake, they have deliberately attempted to destroy game groups.  They no longer will be relying on "guys" to induct new players - they have YouTube Reactors, Warhammer+, Social Media Marketing and they won't be needing the expectations we have.

You know, of cool new releases we can actual use for a few years and get to know.

They have a different tune to sing to us now.

Well, fuck Games Workshop.  No longer am I able to support this vile company's practices. 

This time, we're not abandoning OUR game.  GW gave it to us a long time ago.

We made up our own stories instead of following an "official" storyline.  We could do everything and anything we wanted because GW was chock full of badass talent and gave us the tools.  Updates were a cool 4 years apart for a long, long time - and new editions were generally better.

The legitimate creators of 40k shared it with us and we made it big.  We literally made worlds with our hands, and told stories of OUR guys.

They are doing everything they can to make sure no one else plays in 'their' sandbox - which is just a pastiche of a million sci-fi and fantasy concepts from history and literature.

The fact that these lawyers feel like we're so fucking stupid they can literally trademark the term 'space marine' is coldly telling of what was to come.  That incident only happened after GW's new hedge fund masters sent the lawyers in to check where MONEY was hiding.  Fuck the community, we can make more money of all the people who AREN'T gamers.  Who cares if we only make one sale?


It's all mainstream now... and with them they bring metaplot "progress" to the setting and FOMO to the business model.


I believe the shortages and sell-outs on the site aren't.  It's a lockdown issued by the controllers to increase the market squeeze.  It's fucking obvious.

As you'll see, they are peddling some serious trash for a premium price, and the mendicants EAT it up.  Generally, these days you get 20 models for $200.  BUY IT NOW OR FOREVER BE A LOSER WITH NO SPECIAL MODELS.

Worse and more concerning, the game systems are incomplete and unworkable.  UNWORTHY.

Unnecessary and unwelcome.

9th Edition, released last year, as had a few releases since and is already showing how poorly designed and thought out these projects are.

If you don't care about this, find somewhere else to fuck yourself.

With every release you buy, GW takes a shit on your head.  And they laugh - oh, my man they are FUCKING LAUGHING AT US.

Nothing for it.

Stop supporting GW immediately.  You can't continue to do so and consider yourself an actual person.  You're a mere mendicant and you should go participate in the MLM cult that GW is becoming.

Your online echo chambers don't prove shit.  Internet anecdotes are worth less than my popcorn farts.

Any yells of 'but business' or 'capitalism' proves you're an idiot and don't even understand capitalism.  Competition is allowed, and I can make Space Knights that look like your designs and THERE'S NOT A GOD DAMNED THING YOU CAN DO.

Now, I have my own intellectual property to develop and protect - but the actual ethical concerns are raised by GW, not my bootleg tyranids.  Again, if you don't get it just SHUT THE FUCK UP and go to the mendicant's aisle and tell them you have been detrimental to your community.

The only ethical thing we CAN do as patriotic American Consumers is to kill motherfucking Games Workshop.  Do not buy a single product and let them and everyone else know you're doing it.  You don't have to explain yourself to a GW apologist.

I will not be guiding new players to GW.  That would be unethical.  If they are interested in joining, I'll guide them to Oldhammer rules in use.  After that, I'd introduce them to the fantastic world of 3d printing.  NU-GW will not make a dime.

Play Oldhammer with 3d printed models and house rulings.  Ignore Warhammer+. 

Call me if you're unsure, I'll help you find the right 3d models for your army - and then I'll play whatever edition of 40k you want except 9th.  For real though - stop collecting.  No new armies, just finish the ones you've got.

Find a better game with designers that give a shit.  Maybe I'll work something up and show you what that looks like.

Anyway, like I said before in case you feel the need to reiterate my fuming curses:

Fuck Games Workshop.  #KMFGW

Warhammer belongs to US.  YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BACK.

You've pushed too far, GW.  You made sure we knew that you didn't give a shit about us - and now we don't give a shit about you.  Cat's Cradle, Silver Spoon.

Prepare for a wash of "retro-clone" wargames that will blatantly challenge your IP legally.  It's so easy to parody what you've become, it's astounding no one has done so.  You only really have a claim to iconography you have trademarked, because all that other concept stuff you stole yourself.

Even so, you can't stop me from doing whatever art I want.  Also, I can give whatever I want to anyone I want.

Buy my new retro-clone wargame: Hammerzeit 400,000,000,000 - Heavy Metal Combat in a Refried Universe.

Or, maybe Welcome to Planet Motherfucker - Superviolent Superfuzz Superpsychic Superwar on the Superworld in Superspace.

Of course the legion of mendicants will carry GW through this, not that they will show they care about your sacrifice.  For NU-GW, it's all about those high revenue licenses now, isn't it?

I hope your journey into money takes you to hell.

Friday, August 13, 2021

The Mythic World of Urd: Retainers & Revenge

** The Mythic World of Urd Campaign Page **
The following is GameDoc's after-session notes from our private social media.  It is included here for posterity and ease of access.  You can also listen to this session's notes at the Arcane Alienist!

Retainers & Revenge

Retainers in UrdOn the return from the forest, the reduced caravan guard Dominique recounts how her group was ambushed by orcs. She notes that they sprang silently from out of nowhere and reeked of death. She was unconscious before she knew it and awoke blindfolded and bound as her captors seemed to negotiate with some hobgoblins before roughly handing her over.

The heroes rerun to the keep and split up. Celestina, Khaine, and Jessup head into the keep to deliver the carcass of the tarantella spider to the wizard Olivair. He agrees to harvest its venom in exchange for half the yield. It will take a couple of days.

Outside the wizard’s tower, they’re met by a dwarf who asks about their progress in the mines. Khaine explains how they left things with the kobolds. The dwarf seems unsatisfied with the news and darts off to report in to Horrik, the leader of his clan.

They then visit the chapel where Khaine inquires about more access to healing magic. The curate tells him to either recruit more clerics into the party or find an alchemist or herbalist who can make potions. The curate can also pen scrolls, but it’s a lengthy and expensive endeavor.

In the Canopies, the rest of the party heads to the tavern to carouse with the locals. Harald beings talking up the warrior types, mostly unemployed mercenaries and caravan guards. He learns they’re none to happy with the castellan for not only closing down the tradeway, but insisting his own soldiers will handle the orcs rather than hire any of them. They mention a traveling priest who has come into camp who feels the same way.

Khaine makes a point to take in this priests next sermon at the shrine in the center of the encampment. The priest, Hedemar, is a cleric of St. Arnhilde the Liberator. Hes a firebrand who calls out the castellan and the merchants of the keep for imposing their will on the free people of the Hinterlands. He travels with two acolytes who have taken vows of silence - Volker and Thilo.

After some discussion, Khaine discovers that Hedemar is concerned about the orc situation. Hedemar points out that the orcs have long been peaceful neighbors and there most be something more afoot. He agrees the join the party as Khaine’s retainer, bringing the acolytes along as hirelings.

In the meantime, Durgash takes on Jessup as a retainer and Celestina offers to take on Dominique as a retainer and bodyguard. She cashes in on the offer of access the the castellan’s armory to properly and and equip herself.

How to catch a giant tuatara, Lesson 2
Tuatara wrangling.
After a day of rest, the reinforced party heads back into the woods towards the goblin’s cave. Along the way they encounter the giant tuatara lizard that nearly killed Harald earned his enmity. Harald decides to capture rather than kill it, and with some help form the others manages to hogtie it and put it in the cart.

The party then proceeds to the caves to find that the goblins and hobgoblins have prepared for future invaders. They have posted guards and erected barricades. Scouting ahead, Jessup discovers a second interest higher up on the ridge. The part elects to storm that entrance. As they depart they just manage to notice a bugbear scout and prevent it from raising the alarm.

The party assaults the the entrance. Harald is seriously wounded and falls in battle, but is healed by Roderick. Khaine is also felled by a hobgoblin but is too far removed from the group to be healed in time and dies. The party secured the entrance but finds themselves out of healing resources with wounds remaining. They elect to retreat into the woods and make camp and try again later.

The Goblin Caves are daunting...

Friday, August 6, 2021

The Saints of Mythic Urd

The Mythic World of Urd: Saints

What follows is GameDoc's treatise on the Saints that have been encountered and described for his Mythic World setting.  The Mythic World has different standards for a lot of conventions, and they are cool and welcome spins on old tropes - but you don't have to take MY word for it!  You can listen to GameDoc himself tell you about the Saints and the nature of divine magic in the Mythic World right here!

Arnhilde the Liberator

Saint Arnhilde is said to have been a champion of peasants and laborers in the north . She was martyred for speaking out against the abuse of power. Her iconography often utilizes broken chains or shackles.

  • Stand for those who cannot stand for themselves.
  • Power is a responsibility, not a privilege.
  • Free the oppressed and oppose the tyrant.

Cyrus the Bloodied

Saint Cyrus was military commander and a champion of law and order who was always vigilant against the threat of Chaos. His iconography incorporates a sword and warrior's helm.

  • A firm hand is necessary to encourage faith and piety.
  • Protect the faithful, from themselves if necessary.
  • Cleanse the land of heresy.

Dudimus the Abiding

Saint Dudimus was an aesthetic know for his patience and perseverance, but also his love of distilled spirits. He is said to have solved many mysteries by simple contemplation. His iconography often includes a a bottle or chalice. 

  • Strive for balance in all situations and promote harmony in all facets of life.
  • The truth will reveal itself in due time if you are patient. 
  • Live simply and practically; take no more than you need.

Iambulous the Charitable

Saint Iambulous was a philosopher who traveled much of the known world and lived among many different peoples, seeking the means of building a utopia. His iconography incorporates a compass. 

  • Promote community spirit and mutual aid.
  • Make peace wherever you go; resort to conflict is a final resort.
  • Encourage those that have more to give to those that have less

Leilani the Merciful

Saint Leilani was renown as a healer and as a lover of all living things. She offered kindness and aid even to those others would deem unworthy. Her iconography always incudes flowers. 

  • Heal those who are ill or injured
  • Spread the word of love; we are all brothers and sisters.
  • Lift up the weak and make them strong.